rethink: a different approach to birthdays (and other gifts)
Last week, I launched this website the day before my birthday as a way to close out a year and welcome in a new one. Confession: I love my birthday. A lot. I love celebrating, being with those I love, and enjoying magical things.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve often struggled with the question, “What do you want for your birthday?” I turned 39 this year. I have a lot in my house already. I usually buy what I feel I need. And often, I don’t really want anything other than to bop around, yelling, “It’s my birthday!” That being said, I know there is a heavy emphasis on gift giving as a way of showing love. I get it, I do. It’s nice to open things and feel the love. But how often do we receive gifts that aren’t “us” or don’t fit or feel useless?
It can be difficult to break the idea of a gift for gifting’s sake + capitalism popping off, but I’ve asked my loved ones to do just that, and I’ve never been happier. This year, I received gifts from my favorite local store, my husband bought me a 1984/1985 Fuji bicycle off Facebook marketplace and tickets to see the Osees next month (a band that has been on my wish list to see for over a decade), my in-laws paid for the bike repairs at Eddys, and my mom bought us tickets to ride in the dome car on the Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad and toasted me with champagne.
As an added bonus, the evening before my birthday, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone + solo headed to Heads Up Flowers community dye pot. It was an absolute delight to dye a handkerchief with marigolds from the garden + learn a new thing!
Everything was so connected to me and I got to have such special experiences with those nearest and dearest to me.
Growing through year 38 included committing to changing my approach to gift giving as well. I started earlier for birthdays and Christmas, scouring thrift stores for items on lists, gift wrapping, and other decorations. And what I learned? It’s way easier than I thought. Yes, it does take time and some creative thinking to find things. However, it would have been time spent in big box stores, battling my way through other shoppers, something I hate. Taking the time to stop at a few thrift stores allowed me to find things that fit the bill, kept us under our gift budget (I have a spreadsheet for every major gift giving event because I am a Virgo), kept us from dumping our money into large corporations, and kept things out of a landfill.
This way of gift giving does require a shift in thinking and unlearning societal expectations. I challenge you to do just that. By taking a secondhand or experience approach to gift giving, it’s allowed me to put together unique gifts for my loved ones, and I spent time thinking about the person who was receiving the gift so I could make it thoughtful, making me feel more connected to that loved one.
A quick ideas list:
Shop local when you can. I’ve found really unique things in little shops – handmade, vintage, and other items.
Thrift stores are surprisingly good for finding wrapping and decorations. Some stores make bags of similar items for a few bucks. Even if I don’t use everything right away, I typically find another way to use things at another time. I also scoop adjacent things, like lace and stamps, to create my own unique wrapping.
Thrift stores also usually have a bunch of gently used art supplies for gifting or decorating.
I look for local experiences around the time of a loved one’s birthday to book so I can enjoy time with the person while doing something we normally don’t do. As for me, I got to do the CVSR this year. Last year, it was Holden Arboretum and going to Geneva-on-the-Lake to look for cool rocks.
We’ve also purchased memberships to museums for dear ones so they can enjoy places as often as they want.
I go into the process of collecting items like it’s a scavenger hunt. It brings some whimsy + excitement to the process for me. When I find something on my list, I get pumped. It can be so fun looking for treasures.
Just a few small things to kick it off. Throw out any other suggestions in the comments (now that I toggled the settings to allow for comments d’oh.)